I feel like a total bitch.
I didn't for it to happen.
I didn't mean to do it that hard.
I get it if you hate me.
I get it if you don't reply.
I just want to let you know, I'm sorry.

"When you've found a reason to walk away, never look back... Just keep walking. It's better to get lost moving on than to get stuck and stranded broken."

"You'll never fall for someone you've never shared a smile with."

I love these two quotes(:

I thought I didn't like you but once everything stopped I knew that it wasn't true.
But it's gone now and there's nothing I can do.
I regret never telling you how much it meant to me, how much you meant to me.
Maybe if I spoke my mind things would have been different.
You could of warned me but you chose not to.
I should of just let it go... I knew it was to good to be true.

I was a fool to believe it were true.

So many things running through my head right now...
It felt like it happened so long ago but it wasn't
You've moved on but I'm still here, stuck here, frozen.
Thinking of what to do and what will I be...
Who is she? I don't know.
I wish I was her... but that's far from the truth...

I'll just have to Forget the pass... and Focus on the future.
It's just me against the world this time.
We'll see how things go.

I was a fool to believe it was true.












That you loved me the same way I loved you...

Cow Heart dissection todayy :s
Well I was with Yen Fei, Namruta and Amal. We got the kidney's instead of the heart and Oh My... it REEKED anyways so we tried to cut out the fat as the kidney's were covered in it. It was gross :s

Other groups got the kidney and you could see Johnny going pale at the sight of it. hahaha. worst than me, luckily :P Scott was freaky when he did it, I could of actually imagined him being a butcher and chopping it up. lol. Yen Fei though, was having so much fun with the kidney, it was contagious.

So like yeahh I didn't really freak out like I imagined I would of and we didn't really see much of the kidney because we spent most of the time cutting off the fat and whatever the other stuff was. xD

Then...

We finished Trampoling today! :D
Didn't better than I expected :3 However, I could NOT get the freaking full turn right!
So Gayy.
Got swimming next week! :)

Other than that... Today was alrightt...
Johnny and my little brother pissed me off. -.-
Johnny... eh typical stuff but today was the worst that I felt like shoving a cow's heart infront of him >.> <.<
Little brother... So frking sloww! D: I wanted to go homee T_T

Okay so I just suddenly felt a wave of emotion. :/
Crying being one of it which I can tell you rarely happens.
Maybe it's just that I'm pms-ing at the moment? I don't know
All i know is I just suddenly miss my brother, John so much.

I miss his awesome-ness
I miss playing CS with him and watching him shoot all the enemies while screaming his head off when he got shot.
I miss hanging out with him and staying in his room.
I miss being able to go to Australia just to visit him and see how he is.
I miss being able to know that I've got a big brother to look after me to reassure me that everything is okay.
I miss going into his room and playing card games with all us cousins together.
I miss his presence.
I miss the tiny arguments we'd have.
I miss the bets we'd do.
I don't like looking at family photos and noticing that it isn't and never will be... complete.

Now your gone...
I hope your in a better place...
I hope I'll find out one day what the true cause was.

If I could tell you something right now...
it'd be...
Thank you for being the Best Brother and for looking after me for all those years. You've been there to guide me even though I know there were times when you got so pissed at me.
I love you Ko, John and I miss you.

If I had one wish...
I wished you'd come back Ko.
I miss youu

Rules:
-Pick your birth month
-Italic out anything that doesn't apply to you
-Bold the five-ten that best apply to you
-Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months under a lj-cut

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

Friday: Econs test... Got A in previous. The one I just had... I know I did crap :/

Yayy It's the holiday! :]
So I haven't been very productive over the holiday only been using my laptop mainly, tv, eat, sleep, shower. Super fun eyh?

Soo... Yesterday I went to Contessa to see how much it was to tune a violin! :) $10 but then Jeannell said I could get her dad to tune it for me for free ;D Yayy.
Then I went to Active and my little brother bought: Poster paint and a few paint brushes and I bought oil paint, Soft pastel, A set of paint brushes, seperate paintbrushes (didn't expect my mummy to get them for me) and a Wooden Paint pallette. Makes me feel so Artsy :3

Paintings me and my little brother did:
First 2 are mine, Last 2 are my little brothers.






So things I have to do:
Write down a list of school homework.
Get all my homework down.
Paint for the fun of it :D
Get my awesome Tablet!
Paint chibi drawings :3